On Birthday Resolutions

Most people make New Years resolutions, I make them on my birthday. A few of them are of a personal nature, but here's a few that I'll share with status updates

• Memorize every country, it's capital and flag: I feel like this is warm up for some much larger goal like "Buy a flag and wave it on the capital steps of every nation" in the world. But for now, this is a good goal for doing better at trivia night. As of now, if you give me a sheet of paper with 195 lines, I can write down all countries and 85% of their capital cities. Flags, I'm only at 40%. There's a lot of countries with flags that are some combination of red, yellow and blue.
• Climb something impressive: Total fail here, and no excuses. I had time to do some scrambling in between jobs, but decided to ride my bike around Seattle instead.
• Read History of the World by JM Roberts: A while back I realized that my knowledge of history is deep in some areas, but non-existent in others. For example, I know a lot about Greece, but virtually nothing about Persia other than they tried to invade the Greeks and then go their asses kicked by Alexander. I can talk for hours about the second World War, but know maybe 5 things about pre-European African History (outside of Egypt). So I got this 900 page book that I started when I was in high school with the vow to finish it. Slow progress, I'm on page 100. On the upside, I'm learning a lot about Minoans.
• Overcome fear of public speaking: I haven't done this yet. I spoke at Ignite, and it was fun but I was still pretty spooked. I think I'll have to do it more before I can pronounce this done. Hosting trivia has helped me in this aspect, and I can better handle people booing me.
  
• Get some famous dude to sign my book: I got Richard Dawkins to sign my copy of Blind Watchmaker. Accomplished.
• Cook a multi-course meal: Haven't done this yet. I have maybe 3 dishes in my repotoire, so I need to know how to make more dishes first.
• Quit gaming on my home laptop: This has been tough. I have a tendancy to binge when I get a game. I have to play it front to back, in every permutation before I force myself to uninstall it and throw away the CD, like an alcoholic who pours his stash down the toilet. I am fairly certain that I'll backslide when the next Call of Duty comes out.
• Take an extraordinary picture: I am really satisfied with some of my work from Mt. Rainier. Now, if only I could motivate myself to edit it.
• Care about local politics: I'm generally a straight-Democratic-ticket voter, but in Seattle that's somewhat redundant. Many local elections are non-partisan. Originally, I had aspired to attending events in person and asking direct questions to candidates. But I'm going to settle for spending about 2 hours looking over positions before sending in my ballot.
• Grow a nice goatee: Tried it. Reaffirmed my contention that most guys should not get facial hair. My assessment was confirmed by females, so it has to be right.
• 20 pullups, 10 finger pullups: The best I got to was 15/8, but I've slacked off on morning workouts. Tomorrow, I'll start again.

On unknown people from Frisco Texas

If you scroll to the bottom of my blog, you'll see a hit counter/site tracker thing. Lately, some one from Frisco, Texas has been frequenting this blog. I have two questions for this person.
1) Who are you sir/madam? Have we met? If not, I am very honored to meet you through this medium.
2) The site tracker says that you have a linux diplay that is 32000x1024 pixels. That is incredible. Any truth to it?

On Steely Dan

Just came back from Steely Dan. I hope that when I am as old as Don Fagen, I will still be able to rock out that hard. It's fun to watch artists who have been around for that long show everyone that they still have raw talent and can have fun on stage.

With that, some observations

• There were two guys who were signing the concert. It was amazing, and I was watching them for a good chunk of the concert. You have to be pretty good to keep up with the rapid fire lyrics of "Reeling in the Years" (Youreverlastingsummeryoucouldseeitfadingfast. Soyougrabapieceofsomethingthatyouthinkisgonnalast) and it's fun to see how lyrics are interpreted in other cases. Example: "Fine Colombian" from "Hey 19" is motioned by bringing a flat plane up to ones nose. In between lyrics, they would rock out to air guitar/air piano.
  


• Why do people leave the show before the final encore? You paid good money for this show, are you in that much of a hurry and worried about beating the traffic that you have to bounce early?


• Trumpet player dude: I am better than you. Or at least I used to be. Well, no not really.


• Man, I want to play baritone sax. If I could learn another instrument in addition to trumpet, it would be bari sax. Or take it a couple steps lower, and play the contrabari sax or the tubax. It's got that wonderful raw sound that dirties every soul that hears it

On trivia at the Old Pequliar

My team and I hosted trivia at the Old Pequliar last night. Here's what we asked

Round 1: Geography
1. From 1971 to 1997, this was the most populous country in the world that started with the letter Z. Now, it is the most populous country that begins with the letter D. What is the current name of this country?
2. The flag of this country is green, with Arabic text on the front. By law, it can never be lowered to half-staff, and created controversy when FIFA put the flag on a soccer ball.
3. Yakuskt, Irkuskt and Kamchakta are all territories in Risk, and parts of what actual country?
4. In the year 2000, the International Hydrographic Organization determined that there were five oceans in the world, instead of four. What is the newest ocean?
5. What is the most visited national park in the United States, with 9 million annual visitors in 2008?
6. What is the least visited national park in the United States, with only 847 visitors?
7. In 1961, the African countries of Tangyanika and Zanzibar merged to form what country?
8. What is the only island in the world that is occupied by three countries? Bonus: Name all 3.
9. In the 2008 Olympics, what island nation won the most gold medals per capita, with one gold medal per 500,000?
10. What is the most populated island in Washington State?

Round 2: Quadrangulation. Given the 4 definitions, name the word
1) A system of measurement, something you put on a ball, an ethnic group, a kind of horn
2) A market, something the pope gives, a night court character and a male
3) A video game company, a location in town, a sail and a boring person
4) An Egyptian God, part of a match, a card game and something a QB shouts
5) A fish, a kind of road, a weapon and a fictional captain
6) A kind of door, a kind of carriage, a geological formation and what the Battle of Endor was.
7) A wrestler, an action movie, something under a famous dome and a song from Quadrophenia
8) A kind of lizard, a part of a roof, something you watch and something that watches you
9) A former NFL quaterback, a character on Battlestar Galactaca, slang for a submarine and someone who is about 50 years old.
10) Slang for money, a fictional drug dealer, a derivative of heroin and a word that makes you smile.

Round 3: 1980s Cartoons
1. From 1980 to 1982, this comic strip cat co-starred with Dingbat, a vampire dog. He would later return in his own show, starting in 1984.
2. This PBS show debuted in 1987, featuring cartoons like Math-Man and Dirk Niblick of the Math Brigade.
3. A gothic girl named Lydia can summon the title character of this 1989 cartoon with a poem that begins “Though I know I should be wary, Still I venture someplace scary, Ghostly haunting I turn loose…”
4. This animated show that ran from 1981 to 1989 is generally credited with saving Hannah Barbera productions from extinction.
5. This series based off a video game chronicles the adventures of the title character, his wife, child and dog “Chomp-Chomp.”
6. In 1985, the National Coalition on Television Violence claimed this show was the most violent show on television, even though none of the party members were Chaotic Evil.
7. Brittney, Jeanette and Eleanor were the female counterparts to the main characters on this show that ran from 1983 to 1990
8. This show follows the exploits of a gymnastics coach, his crime-fighting team. In the opening credits, the title character drives a bus and throws a crocodile helluva far.
9. This cartoon featured hybrid animals named Bumblelion, Moosel, Rhinokey and ran only for a short time in 1985. Though only 13 episodes were produced, they were aired until 1987.
10. Sometimes some clues go slipping through the cracks, but these two gumshoes are picking up the slack.

Movies
1) After The Matrix and V for Vendetta, the Wachowski Brothers proceeded further on their quest to ruin everything with this 2008 anime adaptation
2) A teenage loner pushes his way into the underworld of a high school crime ring to investigate the disappearance of his ex-girlfriend in this 2005 film.
3) Tim Robbins portrays a fairly obvious ripoff of Bill Gates in a film that was internationally known as "Conspiracy.com"
4) Kazaam was not Shaquille O'Neil's only thespian undertaking. In this 1997 film, he plays an crime-fighting armored super-hero
5) This 1995 Morgan Freeman film was voted the eight scariest film of all time by entertainment weekly
6) Brendan Fraser defeats Thomas Hayden Church for the affections of a young lady, despite his general lack of clothing in this 1997 film.
7) Whoopi Goldberg and 8-foot rubber dinosaur team up to solve a murder mystery in this 1995 direct-to-video movie that is every bit as bad as it sounds.
8) When this 1974 disaster movie was released, theaters screened it using "Sensurround Sound." Massive speakers caused plaster to fall off ceilings, dishes to break and in some cases, noses to spontaneously bleed.
9) Samuel L. Jackson has said the phrase "This is some repugnant shit" in three different movies: Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown and this 2000 remake.
10) What actor/actress was in all 9 of these films?

On the Buffalo Bills

I once dated a girl who asked to come watch Buffalo Bills games with me, an incredibly moving gesture. It is as if she understood what pain I go through on sixteen Sundays a year. She knew that she couldn't alleviate it so she would take the choice to bear the same pain herself. Of course, the more likely explanation is that she didn't know what she was getting in to, but I like to believe my little dream.

To be a Bills fan is to know a deep and profound form of suffering in the world of sports. The Bills win some, and lose some like any team, but the loses are of a particularly cruel nature. Sometimes, things come in the form of blown calls by officials who are part of some league-conspiracy against small market AFC teams. Sometimes, it's a freakish bounce of the ball that lands right in the hands of an opposing DB. Sometimes, it's a simple glance at the schedule and realizing that the Bills have one of the toughest roads to the playoffs in the league.

All this suffering is something I have grown to accept. It wouldn't surprise me if the Bills never win a Super Bowl in my lifetime, and I don't expect them to do so. What I do expect is that the team not be as pessimistic as I am.

Today, the Bills played the New Orleans Saints, one of the most explosive teams in football. For three quarters, the Bills held the saints offense to ten points. Truly a stellar effort, and it should have been all over ESPN were it not for the fact that the offense only put up seven points for the entire game. Some late 4th quarter scoring gave a final score of Saints 27, Bills 7, even though the Bills were in it for most of the contest.

I won't disparage a single player on the Bills. They are all fine athletes worthy of praise. For all the sad talk about the Patriots loss, hanging within one point of one of the best teams in football is nothing to be ashamed about, especially considering how young the offensive line is. I'll even leave TO alone. As much as he runs his mouth, he's a good receiver and can back up a lot of his talk when he's used well.

But when the game was on the line, late in the 4th quarter and the team needed a score, Dick Jauron pulled the offense off the field on 4th and 1. Yes, the Bills were backed up on their side of the field. But they were down by two scores. Jauron needed to get aggressive, or show at least a little faith in your players that they can get a difficult task done. Instead, he punted away the game since he wanted to stick with his conservative philosophy of coaching.

This "prevent offense" mentality has permeated the entire mindset of the organization. The best example is how Edwards has lost confidence in his ability to be a gunslinger, which might be why he checks down so often. It may earn a few first downs, but doesn't put points on the board. It may be a good strategy for beating a weak team like the Bucs, but it won't have a shot against a team like the Saints. In fact, the only offensive points were scored on a fake field goal.

A lot has been said about Dick Jauron's stoicism. Stoicism isn't a bad thing. It's good to have a steady hand at the tiller, and to keep emotions in check when dealing with a complex job. At the end of the 2008 election, Barack Obama received a lot of praise for his ability to "stay cool" under all circumstances. Perhaps Jauron is of the same mindset, and that's fine. But Obama had the ability to transcend his stoicism and inspire people to bold action. Jauron does the opposite.

In an episode of West Wing, a staffer says to the Chief of Staff "It's not the battles we lose that get me, but the ones we don't suit up for!" Jauron doesn't seem willing to try to win the big games for fear that he'll lose.

Jauron won't be coach for much longer, so I won't start a "Fire Jauron" petition or anything. Even if Buffalo makes the playoffs, I would hope that owner Ralph Wilson sees that Jauron's mentality isn't suited for professional football. Wilson has a good chance to change the direction of the team, and maybe give this suffering fan a little hope.

On the passing of Ted Kennedy

And now, a blog post that doesn't have pictures.

Ted Kennedy died recently, and a lot has been said to eulogize him. I won't get in to an enumerated list, but the man has passed an incredible amount of legislation.

The one accomplishment I do want to talk about is the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965. Before this bill was passed, immigration to the United States was restricted to mostly Western-European countries in an effort to preserve the ethnic makeup of the country. These quotas were established to keep out the "undesirable" Europeans, such as Slavs and Italians. People from Asia were completely excluded from moving in. Government was actively participating in keeping America looking the same.

INA1965 repealed these quotas and made it possible for non-Northern-Europeans to become Americans. This was at a time when most people thought races shouldn't mix, that Catholics would make lousy presidents and you could make a good run for president on a platform built on hating the darkies. It was perfectly acceptable to say that America was a WASP nation, and should remain that way.

In a speech he made on the bill, Kennedy makes a curious claim. He says that the bill will not "upset the ethnic mix of the country." This claim is ridiculous. Take away the established quota and remove of the ban on Asians and of course you are going to have way more Asians in the country. Make the rules favor skilled workers, and you're going to have immigrants come in who will are likely to be successful and be big influences on their community.

So what was Kennedy thinking when he said that? There's two possibilities I can think of.
1) Kennedy honestly did not know what he was talking about: I find this unlikely. Every thing he's written, every interview I've seen with him, the man came off as someone who knew what he was talking about.
2) Kennedy knew that the bill was going to change the country's ethnic makeup and decided to lie to people. I find this interesting. We live in a republic, not a democracy. We are supposed to elect our best people and tell them to make decisions. Private citizens can influence the process by lobbying, donations or throwing the bums out when they do stuff they don't like.

--aside--
If you are one of those people crowing about 2nd amendment, using the "bullet box" instead of the ballot box, bringing guns to political rallies or talking about how the right to bear arms is the freedom that guarantees all of our other freedoms, just shut up. Shut up. You are incredibly dumb and a disgrace to sentient life forms.

I've moderated my position on guns over the years; I'm no longer in favor of an outright ban. I think a gun-owning society can be a law-abiding one. And I can even have a reasonable discussion with some people on the legality of assault weapons. But there's a lot of dumb stuff being said by gun nutjobs (distinct from gun owners). When you say "Use the bullet box if the ballot box fails," which has been something said a lot at rallies and on the radio, you are basically saying that the 2nd amendment and popular sovereignty gives you the right to override the democratic process and kill popularly elected officials. My god, that is dumb.

I don't like to rank the importance of rights people have, but I think I state that the right to bear arms is NOT the most important to guarantee a free and democratic society. First, there are plenty of societies that are much more restrictive on gun ownership than ours. Some of them make it downright impossible to open many kinds of guns, but don't have governments that engage in mass oppression. UK and Japan come to mind.

A counterargument is that the UK, for example, is not free. Why not? If the answer is "because they don't allow gun ownership," then the entire argument is tautological. Gun ownership is necessary for a free society because a free society is one that allows gun ownership? Lame. STFU. If the answer is "the UK is not free because they have a big government with all kinds of socialist policy," then I wonder what this has to do with guns. The UK has a big national health care plan. Are we to believe that if the UK had open carry gun laws, they wouldn't have national health care? I'm inclined to think not. But if I'm wrong, and open carry laws prevent large government programs? How could that be? A society that owns guns will prevent their government from getting large? It seems like the implication is that gun nutjobs will engage in violent acts and intimidation to keep this from happening.

Screw that. Gun nutjobs are poorly-endowed cowards who feel afraid of every small piece of change they see, every person who isn't like them and anything they cannot rationalize with their meager brains. Is the national park so dangerous that you need to have pack heat when you go for a hike? Are you so worried about terror attacks at the mall that you walk around with a revolver in your purse?

Michael Westen, a fictional character on Burn Notice once said that "Guns make you stupid." He's right. When someone brings guns to a political rally, they delude themselves in to thinking that the optimal way to solve political problems is with guns. Instead, they come off as a cowardly idiot who feels the need to intimidate the opposition because they don't know how to make a decent argument. So gun nutjobs: Please shut up.

Ok, rant over

Where was I? Oh yeah, Ted Kennedy and the deceptive nature of his speech. I think Kennedy knew that he was misleading people, or at best didn't know and didn't care about how this bill would affect (and effect...ooo obscure meaning) the ethnic makeup of America. He thought he knew better than the ordinary American, and didn't have any trouble engaging in some deception to get this point across. How Machieavellian. I'm a little conflicted on this. Of course, politicians should be honest, or at least lean in that direction.

At the same time, this bill has personal significance for me. Because if that bill never passed, I wouldn't be here. My dad was able to immigrate here because the racial quotas were lifted and the ban overturned, along with millions of other South Asians. I was never on medicare or have been part of a union, but this legislation is directly responsible for my existence. So I feel I owe Kennedy a debt of gratitude. And I am saddened that it took his passing to make me realize this.

Reflections on Shi Shi beach

Hiking alone is one of my favorite activities, partially because it's an opportunity to let my mind ramble on to no end. So here's what I wrote about hiking Shi Shi. I'll try and give a more detailed writeup about that trip later.

Around five in the morning, I woke up to the sound of a bird singing the same seven note pattern every ten seconds. I lay in my bag and pondered the beauty of this repitition. A few seconds later, I got fairly annoyed and thought about finding a rock so I could regain my solitude. A few seconds later, I realized that I was exceedingly cranky, and a long walk on the beach would do me some good. I loaded up the 300mm, packed the tripod and set off.

At 6AM, the tide had rolled out enough to reveal some tide pools, filled with anemones, starfish and crabs. For a few hours, these creatures have to survive in this hostile environment. The only food they have are their fellow inhabitants, and the natural ethic of not eating your own kind breaks down. I saw a sea star float over a smaller one and arch it's center in what I'm guessing was the beginning of it's breakfast.

Hiking the Olympic Beaches has a number of challenges. For one, you have to be aware of the tides. Two, the ground you walk on is not stable. In some places, it's fine sand that sinks a few inches with each step. In others, it is slippery rock. At one point, it was a giant mass of seaweed that had washed ashore. Third, the beach at low tide has kind of a strange smell to it. It isn't exactly appetizing.

And yet, you are rewarded because there is something so unique every few hundred feet. First, I squeezed through some rocks and hopped over a pool filled with hermit crabs. Then, I walked by a boulder about 8 feet high. The top was exposed and rough, but the bottom was polished to a mirror shine by the tide that had retreated. Reaching the beach required making my way through a pile of seaweed the size of an end zone that had to have been at least a foot deep. My foot was surrounded by surprisingly vibrant greens and purples, and the ground gave off a sea-like salt odor with each step. Inching through the next hole, I saw a beach composed of pebbles. The fog was particularly dense here, with visibility limited to 50 feet. The hole to the next beach was jammed shut by a massive dead tree wedged in it. I wondered how long that tree had been there, and if it would decompose anytime soon. Driftwood can stick around for a while.

Next time, next time, next time. Next time I bring a flash. Next time, I come determined to fill my CF cards and a few rolls of film. Next time, I will come with an appreciation for the small beauty of the beach. Next time, I won't lug this 300mm lens that weighs me down and represents the artistic rut I feel I'm in as a photographer sometimes. Next time, I think as I head back to rejoin my companions.

What makes Shi Shi so unique and beautiful? Is it the tide pools, a property of the rocks underwater and the dramatic flucuation in tide levels? Is it all the life that in each pool, and how the struggle for survival plays out before my eyes? Is it the small beauty in the pattern of a barnacle shell, or the savage power of the waves as it wedges entire logs in the walls of the cliff?

Here's the disturbing part. None of what I described is that unique to Shi Shi. Lots of places have tide pools, sea life and strong waves. The difference, as far as I can tell, is that Shi Shi doesn't have people. The Olympic Beaches are one of the few wild beaches left in the United States, and possibly the world. In a sense, the beauty of Shi Shi comes from the absence of humans. It makes me wonder what's so great about us.

This isn't the first time I've thought this about us. When I first saw the Milky Way galaxy, on a summer trip to Arizona, I was disheartened to hear that the reason I couldn't see it back home was because of light pollution from the cities. It seemed sad that one of the side effects of civilization was eradicating the beauty of the stars. I think the same is true with the beaches. A while back, I wasted some time browsing Live Maps and randomly zooming in on the Pacific Coastline trying to find unoccupied territory. There seemed to be virtually no land that wasn't a road, a public park or someone's house. Before we came in, was the whole Pacific coast like Shi Shi? I'm not advocating retreat from civilization, or that everyone has to give up their beachfront house or that I suddenly realized that human civilization damages the environment. I'm not sure if I'm advocating anything, other than this simple idea: Our world manages perfectly fine without us, and we should remember that we are not masters but recipients of it's hospitality.

My experience speaking at Ignite! Seattle

Most of you know that I quit Microsoft on the 24th of July, and that I'll start at Amazon on the 10th. What do to in the meanwhile? I've spent some time on Rainier (pictures to come), riding a bike, programming some mobile apps and overcoming my fear of public speaking by talking in front of a large audience.

Ignite Seattle happens every few months. A few hundred geeks pack in to a room and a few speakers get up and give PowerPoint presentations about some geek-interest topic. There are rules about presentations. 20 slides, 15 seconds per slide, no control over transitions. It's a pretty long story on how I got signed up and why I went ahead and did it considering that I break in to a cold sweat when talking in front of more than 3 people. But I figured I'd have some time to prepare a good talk where I would not shame myself and my ancestors.

I am an Scrabble player, and enjoy teaching other people. I am not a conventional player, in that I don't memorize word lists. I rely more on guile and bluffing to win when against a superior opponent and I find this makes for a more interesting game. So I took what I knew about this style of play, combined it with what I knew about playing good defense and made a presentation called "Fighting Dirty in Scrabble."

The Ignite! format is tough to handle. I have a tendency to ramble a lot, and having only 15 seconds to make a point is tough. It's a real challenge to distill knowledge in to that little time span. Additionally, the audience won't be reading slides in great detail. I did my best to have as little text as possible to keep most of the attention on me.

The hardest part (for me) was to be funny. Anyone can make their friends/family/significant other crack up. It's because people's perception of what is funny depends more on the messenger than the content. Scrabble is a fun game, but it isn't easy to make humor come out of it.

I spent about 2 days working on slides, and the day of the presentation going through it about 10 times. By the end, I had the 15 second timing down enough to the point where I could present with my eyes closed and still hit the slide transitions. I had a few silly slides and jokes and figured I could make enough people laugh so they wouldn't be bored. I did a quick dry run in front of Shawn who has spoken at Ignite before and got some advice.

At the theater, I met up with the speakers. It's hard not to feel somewhat outclassed by people who are published authors or have a reputation beyond their immediate circle of friends. It's also strange to see people talking economics, philosophy, community organizing and computer science, while I'm about to go on and talk about how to put tiles on a board. All of them were friendly and encouraging. I managed to relax a little and enjoy the talks that preceded mine before going on.

I have a tendency to get in to bad situations, usually the result of my incompetence. When I get in to one of those situations and feel the urge to panic, I'm usually able to suppress this urge to panic for about 10 minutes while I do whatever it is I have to do. Once 10 minutes are up and the nervousness-inducer is gone, I'm fine. So as I walk up the steps, that's what I do.

If I were to practice again, I'd practice holding a microphone. I gesticulate a lot and having to hold on to a mike silences one of my hands, as well as makes me asymmetric. When I get nervous, I also tend to hold on to whatever is in my hands with a ferocious death grip.



I'm pretty sure I know what I'm talking about in this pose. I'm discussing why it isn't the end of the world when your opponent plays a bingo. My thumbprints are probably still on that microphone. All my hand motions that I was used to doing are a little thrown off, but I'm getting by.

And yes, I know I have big ears. I rent them out to SETI.

I had a few goals for my talk delivery.

• Get the audience to crack up at least twice: It's tough to say without the video of the talk, but I think I made this happen. I think one was 3/5s of the way and the second was towards the end. The opening part of my talk was a lot more strategic, and apart from a Street Fighter Shoutout, nothing that was going to have reliable laughs. I was worried that if I couldn't get a laugh every couple slides, people wouldn't enjoy the talk but my concern seems to be invalid.
• Deviate, but don't deviate too much: I debated writing my every word and memorizing that before the talk, but decided against that. If I had tried that and slipped up on a couple words, I would have been pretty lost. I managed to stick with my general script just fine and changed up some passages to better suit the audience on the bluffing slides
• No "uhs." Apparently I failed at this. I'm going to wait for the video, but it might be as high as 10, meaning one every 30 seconds.
• Hit the slide timings. I missed one timing and had to stall for a few seconds, but the rest seemed fine.
• Get at least one cute girl I don't know to compliment my talk after it was over. Yup, accomplished.
• Come off as friendly and cheerful. Probable fail here. The impression people gave me was that I came off as a friendly guy who would stab you in the back. In retrospect, that is more in line with my speech and I shouldn't have set this goal. In his recap of the night, Anthony Stevens said "All I'm saying is, when you play Mehal in Scrabble, bring a sackof doorknobs. He's that dirty." I guess I got my hair cut too short, because my devil horns are showing.
  

Most of the feedback I got was pretty positive. I had a few people tell me that they were going to fight back against their friends/family/significant other using what I had taught them. Excellent! The world needs more competition.

I am not hypercompetitive. I don't feel the need to win every competition I enter in, or every board game I play. Despite the first line in my talk, I don't mind losing that much. But I do feel the need to be in the fight and I feel that most people have that attitude. Fighting Dirty is meant to let novice players stay in the game against stronger ones. I hope I got more people interested in matches, and I was pleased to overhear people planning games in the near future over the course of the night.

Ignite! was a great chance to speak and step out of my comfort zone. If you have knoweldge about something random and want to share it, you should give speaking a try. I'm mulling over a few topics for next time.

• Why you should put down your phone and go read Moby Dick
• 5 minutes of Photoshop
  
• Even more dirty tricks in Scrabble

Or maybe I'll go back to the audience for the next one. Who knows...

Pattern Study

Patterns are an interesting subject to work with, and I thought I might be able to derive some out of pictures I took that wouldn't work as photos on their own.


I like the tesseract-pattern this clip from Qutb Minar displays


This is a building facade in Jaipur


This was a neat door in Jaipur. I blurred the image save for the sideways crosses to give it a little pop.

The annual one-finger salute to the Academy

Another year, another Oscar ceremony and another year for me to vent annoyance at the Academy (even though for the most part, I agree with their choices).

First, lets start with what was good

• The idea of having previous winners introduce each individual nominee was nice, even though it seemed a little self-congratulatory
  
• "A Life In Pictures" was an incredibly moving animated piece, and unlike anything I've seen. It's from Japan, but is a far cry from any anime style. It also outpaces the more CG-heavy shorts with the exception of Presto.
• Finally Werner Herzog receives a nomination for something. Encounters at the End of the World is one of my favorite documentaries, and I'd like to see him win something before he retires
• A reduced number of presenters kept the show moving at a much smarter pace
• On the indie-front, I'm glad that Frozen River and Melissa Leo got some attention for an amazing Oscar performance

And now, a large enumerated list of things I didn't like

• This nonsense about "Best Animated Film" needs to stop. For one, it's going to wind up as the "Give Pixar an Oscar" award for most years. Generally speaking, Pixar produces one high-quality product a year. Dreamworks produces one decent animated film a year. And somewhere, another film is squeezed out like toothpaste. In addition, the creation of this category seems to imply that animated films do not deserve to compete with live action films. I don't know if this is paranoia from the Actors Guild concerned about the fact that a trash-collecting robot can induce more emotion than some of it's members, or if it is some snobbery about animation not being "serious work." Either way, it has to stop. WALL-E was a high quality product, but let's also not forget that Waltz With Bashir was a great animated piece that was good enough to compete in the Best Foreign Film category.
• Once again, the Best Original Song category is a waste of time. In the entire industry, you could not come up with more than 3 songs? Not to mention that two of them were from the same movie. It's a minor improvement from last year, where Enchanted had three nominations in this category, but not by much.
• Too often, the Academy gives the impression that there is a certain kind of film that gets nominated (and wins) and certain kinds that don't. I don't know if that is true, but there's no way in hell Toyland wins best live action short if it wasn't about the Holocaust.
• No love for The Fall? I find it difficult to take categories such as Costume Design seriously when rich and creative work like The Fall goes unrecognized while someone gets a nomination for making a bunch of California actors look like they live in San Francisco about 30 years ago.

Finally, I suppose I should make a top ten list for things I saw in 2008. In no particular order, they are

• WALL-E
• The Fall
• Tropa de Elite (Elite Squad: This awesome film about Brazilian Police Commandos)
• Encounters at the End of the World
  
• The Dark Knight
• Slumdog Millionaire
• Gran Torino
• Frozen River
• Quantum of Solace
• Burn After Reading

All in all, I suppose it's a conventional list. Mad props to SIFF, without which I would never have seen The Fall, Elite Squad and Frozen River.

And Academy: I expect results next year. But I'll settle for some more thought put in to the Best Soundtrack award.

More photos from India

I'm managing to do a little more editing these days.



These are some stone pillars at Qutb Minar, a giant minaret located in Delhi. I liked how all pillars were unique and how they formed an unusual vanishing point. I didn't think I could get detail for all of them, though, so I just focused on the nearest one and shot away. Apart from some darkening on the right hand side, I didn't have to do that much serious manipulation. The stark shadows on the left of the pillar serve to bring out the detail in the front.

I'm pretty happy with this shot and it might get printed in a few days.

The patterns on the wall made for nice tesseract-like shots


And, apropos of nothing, here's a parakeet

I haven’t blogged about photography in a while, so here goes again. I’m writing this while on vacation in India. We just saw the Taj Mahal today and I shot about 5 gigs worth of photos. Here’s about some adventures I had with one.

Aside: The Taj Mahal is big. I know it sounds silly to say that, since it’s a monument of great renown, but you don’t realize how massive it is until you enter the complex. I could give you it’s height, but that’s just a number. I could compare it with the other buildings in the complex, but they are all puny compared to the Taj. The best way to describe it to those who have never seen it is this.
1. Picture the Taj Mahal in your mind
2. Make it twice as big
3. No, bigger than that.
4. Make the top bulb larger. That thing is huge.

Anyhow, on to the photos—err, photo. When I walked through the entrance gate, I managed to get the entire complex framed by the archway, looking like this.




It was about 7:45 in the morning. The good light had long since gone, and the pollution that is Agra’s second most prominent feature had created plenty of haze to disrupt good shooting. The Taj faces south, so the right side is illuminated. There’s already a bunch of people in front of the Taj, two haircuts sticking in the picture and a crow that need to be edited out. Clone Stamp tool, I chose you!



Some rotating and centering gets us this. I think the framing walls are asymmetrical in the shot, and need to fix that some other time. The left and right side have no interesting detail, so I decided to crop out early on and go for a square image.

Now for the curves layer. Curves layer is where I do most of my work. There are no highlights in the picture. The Taj and the sky are very similar in color, but the outer part of the Taj is different enough from the sky that the curves layer can do some good work. Once I made the contrast, I darkened the sky and did some adjustment layer blurring to get this.

That’s somewhat better. Individual marble slabs are now more visible and the monument pops out from the sky a little bit. The top bulb has a little halo, but that's no big deal.



Sadly, this isn’t good enough. Now, it’s time for the Hue/Saturation layer. I’m too much of a snob to use Hue/Saturation most of the time, except for adjustments of 5%. I get annoyed when I see photos where someone turned the saturation up by 40%. A lot of people seem to think that the more colorful something is, the better it is. A quick glance at a hooker's eye shadow should correct this belief.

So I open up the tool and turn up to 5%. Nope, no effect. 10%? Nothing. 20%? Nothing. I edge the slider in to hooker territory at 50% and still see no effect. Man, the colors are extremely dull. In mild annoyance, I turn it all the way up to 90% and get this.



Well…that was a little unexpected.

Let’s get something straight. I’m a photographer, not a digital artist. If I have to invest a lot of work to "fix" an image that was poorly composed or shot, I’ve failed to create a good photograph. The end product, no matter how realistic-looking is digital artwork, is not a photograph. I’m not implying that digital artwork is inferior, only that it’s not what I do.

Still, I have to admit I kind of like what happened here. Some less-than-perfect work when painting the curves layer now shows up as bright illumination provided by the rising sun on the right side of the dome. Anyone who’s read the Odyssey will appreciate "Dawn showing her rosy fingers" in the background, now that the trace amounts of red in the bottom of the sky are getting expressed. The noise generated makes this seem more like a pointillist painting, with the imperfections akin to dabs of a brush stroke.

Very well, I said to myself and took off my photographer hat.

Since it was a lot of fun ruining the image by adding color, I figured it would be nice to ruin it by removing all color. A lot of beginners convert to black and white by selecting the "Desaturate" option, but I prefer to use the Channel Mixer adjustment layer.



Again, the slopping work with adjustment layer painting proves to be a bit of a blessing in disguise. Now, the top bulb appears to have something of a halo. A lot of the realism has been sucked out of the ex-photo, leaving something I’d expect to see on the front page of the Wall Street Journal.

That’s not bad, but let’s see if we can get something older looking. I revisited the channel mixer layer, then turned down the halo. I then added noise to the background, opened the sharpening tool and turned it up. Way up.



I think this way makes the script on the archway pop a little more, and makes the silhouette have a little more character.

And since I had gone this far, I figured I might as well try some sepia action. First time for everything.



Yeah, also a last time for everything. Sepia images need a lot of contrast, and this photo doesn't have it. It's alright, but interesting detail is lost. The west side of the Taj is getting sucked in to a brownish-yellow noise cloud. Now that I think about it, that’s a pretty good metaphor for the pollution from Agra that’s damaging the Taj also.

Anyhow, I just wanted to share what I’ve been finding on this trip. I may make this set of Taj photos in to a little 4-piece set, though I’m unsure how well these will print. It’s worth a try.

On Giving

Everyone feels a little more generous around the holidays, and I'm no exception. I think I made some generous trades the last time I played Settlers of Catan which is very out of character. But I'm going to try and do something a little more substantial this coming year if I can convince the gift recipient that I'm willing to make this donation.

I'm a big fan of the TV Show "Sports Night." In one episode, Dan (an anchor) is having a bit of a crisis. He wants to give money to some charitable cause, but there are so many to chose from. He tries to rank charities in terms of importance. Animal welfare is more important than music education but less important than cancer research, etc. Eventually, his partner sets him straight.

Casey: "You're not going to solve everyone's problems. In fact, you're not going to solve anybody's problems. So you know you should do? Anything! As much of it and as often as you can."

I like that sentiment. If everyone gave to only the most important cause in the world, not a single dollar would go towards my public radio station, the animal shelter down the street or maintaining the local park. Sure, the dollar that I'm donating to these causes would generate more good trying to cure disease, but you shouldn't think of opportunity cost here. The point is, are you doing some good? Are you making someone's day just a little bit better? With that in mind, I'm calling on the University of Pennsylvania engineering school to accept my donation. Here it is.

I, Mehal Shah, would like to donate sufficient funds to the School of Engineering at The University of Pennsylvania to provide all bathroom stalls with double-ply toilet paper in order to operate for one full year. I would like to know how much toilet paper the engineering school uses and pay for the upgrade to the double-ply. I feel this donation will, in some small way, improve the lives of every SEAS student through their studies.

Trivia

So my team wrote trivia for OP yesterday. Here's the questions. You can e-mail me for the answers or leave them in the comments.

Round 1: Geography
1. In what country will you find Gangkhar Puensum, the world’s highest unclimbed mountain?
2. Only one state has a king on the back of its state quarter. Which state is it?
3. What country produces almost 25% of the world’s banana crop but barely exports any of them?
4. There are two recognized flags that are non-rectangular. One belongs to a country in Asia. The other belongs to a US State. Name them both.
5. When Herodotus composed his list of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, he placed two in what is now Greece, two in Turkey and two in Egypt. In what modern country will you find the site of the last one?
6. The National Three Peaks Challenge is an endurance test that requires participants to climb Ben Nevis, Scafel Pike and Snowdon in one day. On what island are these peaks located?
7. What is the most populous country in the world that has an official monarch?
8. The only penguins in the Northern Hemisphere can be found on what Island Group that is also famous for tortoises and finches?
9. In “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” Slartibartfast takes great pride in designing these natural formations which can be found all along the coasts of Norway or the Kenai Peninsula in Alaska.
10. What is the highest mountain in Washington that is not a volcano?

Round 2: Sports and Games
1. Pierre de Coubertin invented this sport for the 1912 Olympics to simulate the skills needed by a cavalry officer trapped behind enemy lines.

2. Klaus Teuber invented this board game in 1995, which gave us the wonderful phrase “I have wood for your sheep.”

3. A Salchow, Toe Loop, Flip and Lutz are all jumps featured in what sport?

4. Two NFL players have kicked 63 yard field goals. Name both for a half point each.
5. Alphabetically speaking, what’s the first word in the official Tournament Word List for Scrabble?

6. Penhold, Shakehand and Seemiller are grips that are talked about in the context of what sport?

7. A chapter in Freakonomics is devoted to match fixing between Juryo and Rikishi participants of this sport.

8. If you are a cruciverbalist, what are you spending your time doing?

9. What is the largest United States city by population that does not have an NFL, NHL, NBA or MLB team?

10. Who holds the record for most appearances on the Wheaties box, with 18?

Round 3: Biology

1. About 25% of all species on earth belong to what biological order that the ancient Egyptians considered sacred? (Either the scientific or common name will be fine).
2. Which of the following fruits is a berry according to the scientific definition: Gooseberry, Cranberry, Blackberry, Strawberry?
3. An argument in 1951 between two men in an Irish Pub over European game birds gave rise to what famous book?
4. According to a recently passed Washington law, it is now illegal to come within 100 yards of what animal?
5. Two species of primates are native to Europe. Name them both.
6. Anthropopedies Ameriborealis is the official scientific name for what somewhat mythical creature?
7. Earl, Fran, Robbie, Charlene and Baby were the main characters in what biologically inaccurate sitcom?
8. If you have a heavy burden, you may have tied what bird around your neck?
9. Mastodon skulls are believed to be the inspiration for what creatures from Greek mythology?
10. What is the largest animal ever to live on earth? (IE, including extinct species).

Tiebreaker: In miles per hour, what is the average air speed of an unladen European Barn Swallow?

Round 6: Acting Work – Name the character that all three actors have portrayed. Example, Mark Hamill, Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger = The Joker

1. Aran Thomas, Anthony Hopkins, Brian Cox
2. John Cleese, Bruno Ganz, Alec Guiness
3. Mel Gibson, Ethan Hawke, Richard Burton
4. Cary Elwes, Kevin Costner, Sean Connery
5. Jason Widener, Emilio Estevez, Martin Sheen
6. George Burns, Morgan Freeman, Groucho Marx
7. Ciaran Hinds (pronounced Ki-ar-an), Karl Urban, Rex Harrison
8. Joan Woodbury, Jill St. John, Brooke Shields
9. Graham Chapman, Clive Owen, Tim Curry
10. Michael Caine, Kelsey Grammar, Patrick Stewart

Round 7: Movies

1. This 1982 biopic holds the record for most extras in a movie scene, with approximately 300,000 people appearing in the opening funeral scene.

2. This 2001 film about a little girl who loses her name is the highest grossing film in Japanese history

3. Marlon Brando had several scenes in this 1980 sequel, but they were all cut when he sued for a percentage of the profits from the first film. His lines were reused 26 years later when this series was remade.

4. Bill Murray was slated to be in this 1995 animated film but lost the producer’s phone number, forcing the makers to go to Tim Allen. Bill Murray deeply regrets this mistake.

5. Christina Ricci and Doug E. Doug team up to solve a kidnapping in this 1997 piece of crap Disney remake.

6. Randy Newman was nominated for 15 Academy awards and lost every single time until 2001 when he was nominated for this film.

7. James Caan, Michael Caine, Sean Connery, Robert Redford and a whole lot of other famous people take part in the ill-fated Operation Market Garden in this 1977 film.

8. Chef Thomas Keller was called in to create a modified version of the title dish of this 2007 movie, because the original dish looks fairly disgusting.

9. Renowned Sci-Fi author Leigh Bracket wrote the script for this 1980 sci-fi epic. Sadly, she died before it was released. This movie is now the top-rated science fiction movie on IMDB.

10. What actor or actress is common to all 9 of these movies?